HMF Target Rap Battles šŸŽ¤

Been a little tied up at work but I didnā€™t forget you. :slightly_smiling_face: Hopefully Iā€™ll have it done later today.

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no rush, man. iā€™m not exactly usain bolt :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

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And now back to our regularly scheduled program. :wink:

ā€œNot such a square after all, and I like how you try to stand tall as if youā€™re the law, yet still pride goeth before the fall.ā€

ā€œIt seems weā€™re well versed in each otherā€™s reputation, Iā€™m flattered by your consideration, and this information gives me a greater sensation for the decapitation of your whole organization, although thatā€™s an exaggeration considering you, Dawood and Vanya are not exactly of one nation.ā€

ā€œAt least up front, you looked like the brightest of the runts, but each of you pulled the exact same stunt hiring that Kashmirian grunt who makes you look like a team of cunts. You donā€™t need the Pope to tell you thatā€™s a slippery slope, heā€™s too much of a dope to even know how to adjust his fucking sniper scope!ā€

ā€œI may have caught a pen in one of my eyes, yet I simply arise, while you were taken by surprise and fell to your demise with a simple barber disguise. Itā€™s past time for you to disperse, because like a living curse, your next verse ainā€™t good enough to put me in a hearse.ā€

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@Nazareth

yeah, i ainā€™t topping that. :smile:

ā€œDouble oh no! Itā€™s another low blow from the Costco version of a store brand bond foe. Uh oh, an overblown ego! Iā€™ll teach you ā€˜bout humility and how to go YOLO.ā€

ā€œYour next lesson then, inside the lionā€™s den, this time by the sword rather than a fountain pen. Do I offend? I highly recommend when youā€™re taking notes you keep an eye out for the sharpe end.ā€

ā€œYou cannot recognise all of my grand designs; put my life on the line; my beliefs are well defined. Iā€™m immortalised where you only live twice. Your lack of moral backbone coincides with your right eye.ā€

ā€œMight I ask: whatā€™s your legacy, other than a boring ass greek tragedy of wandering restlessly, deathlessly, without any destiny, a poor manā€™s take on a white bread Baron Samedi?ā€

ā€œAnd sure, while I canā€™t hurt you fatally, your deathā€™s falsity is of benefit to me. So go ahead and live on endlessly, keep on coming at me, all I need to win is to leave you as an amputeeeeee.ā€

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How about Alexa Carlisle vs Sierra Knox?

That was pretty fucking good actually. The immortalized line, the Baron Samedi and the ending caught me by surprise. :+1: And I think I have to agree with Heisenberg about you winning the first round, but Iā€™ll leave the match for the jury to decide. A battle well fought my friend.

  • The Undying (Naz)
  • The Ghost (Meat)

0 voters

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Sure but Itā€™ll be a little while before I can jump in, and Heisenberg been waiting so Iā€™d like to let him go next. What do you think of the past matches so far?

Take as much time as you want. So far itā€™s been pretty good.

I think I can play Sierra, but Iā€™d like Alexa to go first.

ah, cheers, man. itā€™s always a pleasure reading your work. :+1:t4:

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Yeah, @Screaming_Meat takes round 2 as well. That bit in the middle got off the rhyming scheme a little bit, but the rest of it had great flow, decent burns, and a serious amount of underlying sass about it. @Nazarethā€™s got an unparalleled rhyming ability, but thatā€™s not enough for victory this time. Kale for the win across two battles. Leaves you both 2/2 since I started following.

As for me, I need someone to go first. Iā€™ve never rapped before and what I have in mind will require me playing defense. So, whoever wants to step up, bring it. Remember, Iā€™m Ort-Meyer.

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:smile: cheers, man. i think i have a short attention span.

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Your opponent is Imogen Royce.

Iā€™m about half way finished with my verse now but I thought you should get a heads up.

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An excellent choice! Sheā€™s actually my favorite target of the trilogy; her name, her appearance, her design, her backstory, and that sheā€™s competing with Hush for title of biggest bastard employed by ICA (although Hush is beating her at that one). And sheā€™ll go perfect with the scheme Iā€™ve been tinkering with. Challenge accepted!

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ā€œAh, from what I gather of my estimative and derivative architect, youā€™re of the limitive primitive intellect, now I fully know what to expect, how to deflect and dissect your rhyming defects and mere grade school projects and clone rejects which are most at effect in feeding insects.ā€

ā€œMy algorithms predicts human behavior in the ICAā€™s favor and is a money saver, this practically means Iā€™m the new Professor Xavier, so naturally you should just waiver and factually submit to your new slaver. Taking control of your soul merely requires me to understand your role, slightly shift the goal, and as whole, Iā€™ll have you walking over hot coals on your bare soles.ā€

ā€œYour participation in genetic manipulation has caused countless complications, needless situations that lead to your employment termination and eventual eradication by your own creation, like a personal damnation for your own humiliation.ā€

ā€œDespite all testaments to my superb mental prevalence and excellence compared to your negligence and irrelevance, you wonā€™t be treated with benevolence, only the malevolence as your hit from my lyrical pestilence.ā€

I based the rap on how she generally speaks, so I may have went a bit overboard. :sweat_smile:

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Wake up, wake up, my friend, itā€™s the dawn of a new day,
You have things to do, now itā€™s time to play.
You seem a bit young to have hair near-gray,
Spending all your time slaving for ICA,
Too focused on work to even collect your pay,
Iā€™m surprised your first line wasnā€™t more clichĆ©,
Like ā€˜My name is Imogen, and Iā€™m here to say.ā€™

I will guide and teach you, and you will learn by doing,
So try some real rapping, not that meaningless spewing.
Youā€™re an Agency cow, just standing there mooing,
Ignoring your duties and always eschewing
Your employeesā€™ needs, theyā€™re lined up and queuing
For you to end their employment upon closer viewing,
But youā€™ll be lucky if all they resort to is suing
Your ass off from the anger in which theyā€™re all stewing.

I spent my life building the perfect man,
The ultimate weapon for the Hidden Hand.
You couldnā€™t even take the time to go get a tan,
Just blindly followed your inferior plan.
My perfect creation was designed to kill,
A lifetime of training and unrivaled skill.
Your only fixation was controlling free will,
All your deeds, your whole life amounting to nil.

You treat your employees like they were just pests,
But youā€™d never make it through even one of my tests.
You think youā€™re so special with all your research,
But Hush had you beat, you couldnā€™t even besmirch.
Your Star Trek looks and your smug-sounding voice
Donā€™t make you a worthy target, Miss Royce.

So Iā€™m sorry Imogen, but youā€™ve got no game,
Just another plain target, youā€™re all just the same.
No lasting impression, no longevity,
No reason to replay, just a dead legacy.
There wasnā€™t even a contract to make you expire,
What makes you think you can step to Ort-Meyer?
My chapter was legendary, thereā€™s none to compare,
I had a fucking asylum on top of my lair!
Iā€™m the primary villain, Iā€™m the Hitman emcee,
The face of the franchise owes his glory to me!
When it comes to this series Iā€™m the original baddie,
So welcome home, bitch. Heeeeereā€™s Daddy!

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Ok, so to provide the first bit of criticism myself; it is very clear that Iā€™m an amateur at this. All of my rapping experience comes from 2+ years of watching reaction videos to Epic Rap Battles of History, and it shows. The flow switched up multiple times, there was a whole lot of flexing involved, the third and fourth bits are really filler thatā€™s just there to pad out the length, with the first two and the last one being the real meat. Having acknowledged those shortcomings myself, have at me. Howā€™d I do?

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I know I started this thread but Iā€™m no pro at this either. I just listen to mostly rap music and canā€™t see myself doing this anywhere else. I agree with the filler part but overall your verse is fire. And it feels in character for Ort-meyer to flex. Both he and Royce have a similar god complex in my opinion. Looking forward to more battles with you.

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Alright, glad to know itā€™s not too shabby. I think Iā€™ll refrain from analyzing yours this time, as Iā€™m the competition this round, though I will say that I couldnā€™t hope to match your rhyming. So, if youā€™d like to put up the poll, I guess it falls to @Screaming_Meat to make the comparisons and predict a winner this time around.

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Okay folks, mad scientists engineer VS analysis pioneer!

  • Royce (Naz)
  • Ort-Meyer (Berg)

0 voters