HMF Target Rap Battles 🎤

[Nazareth]

@Shruik you coming back to do the battle with Heisenberg?

[Heisenberg]

Asked that last night in PM. Still on, might be later today or so.

[Nazareth]

Nice to hear.

I’m ready for more myself if anyone wants to get in the ring with me.

[Screaming_Meat]

i’m down, though it’ll take me a while to write summink. you can pick.

[Nazareth]

@Screaming_Meat

you can pick

Naw, we can split the selection process this time. I’ll pick the match up, you pick which one you want to be.

The Undying

VS

The Maelstrom aka The Ghost

[Screaming_Meat]

wooo big boys.

well, i never played the undying, so i have no first hand experience with him. beanie baby is easier to rhyme with though and i can draw on a lot of other sources…

having said that, i think i know my boy wazir better than most because i’ve played mumbai more times than any woa level by a significant margin. it would, however, be painful to rip in to the best hitman target of all time…

hmmm…

i’m probably making the wrong move here but, unless there’s any objection, i’m gonna have to be wazir, i think.

[Nazareth]

For some reason, I thought you’d pick the first one, but I got no objections.

You want to go first or after me?

[Screaming_Meat]

wazir is my boi though

show me what you got!

this might be a two parter.

[Shruik]

Really sorry guys unexpected stuff came up, I can’t promise i’ll have time to do it soon, very sorry.

[Nazareth]

It’s all good, take care of what’s important.

[Heisenberg]

Yeah, that’s all good, no worries.

If someone else would like to step up in the meantime, I’ll be waiting as Ort-Meyer.

[Nazareth]

@Screaming_Meat

“And here’s another lost soul who thinks he has the skill to come in for the kill. At first I was feeling the chill, thinking heaven and hell had finally joined wills trying to collect on the bill, but those aren’t the shoes you fill so you gotta climb a mighty big fucking hill, all to find out you’re nowhere near as ill and about to be grilled as your blood spills, just for the thrills.”

“Just a reminder, but weren’t you the pathfinder who led the pirate raids that put your crew through the meat grinder? Tsk,tsk,tsk. So Idealistic for radical change yet not quite realistic to put it within lateral range, just a former leader of a bunch of bottom feeders, captain of the bullshit eaters.”

“The Maelstrom title use to be an idol and vital while homicidal, but without your crew’s recital, you just sit idle and nearly suicidal.”

“So you started to decay until you finally met Lucus Grey, who molded you out of clay into his dumb little bitch who now obeys, because clearly he saw you as a worthless stray, why else would he leave you in Mumbai on display for a Hitman to slay.”

[Screaming_Meat]

woo lad. that was cutting… and kind of polite? great job.

i best get my game face on.

[Nazareth]

Thanks! I always try to write the raps in accordance to the character, and both you and Fritz_Fuchs always seem to make me work a bit harder.

[Heisenberg]

Damn, you managed to keep the rhyme scheme going longer that I thought possible with each verse. You must be the cameraman obeying the director, because that was a cut.

[Screaming_Meat]

@Nazareth

“I’m Wazir Kale,
don’t beg me for mercy,
My legacy is living on in your head rent free.
I’m faster than Ali
brighter than Diwali,
Your story ends here because I’m the finale.”

“I see you’re telling me
my own biography
with ostensibly unnecessary arbitrary commentary.
Made my point for me
So damn perfectly
That the only thing that matters is the power of your legacy.”

“You’re a cut-rate Rasputin
fresh from a shooting.
Abusing your ability
to elude execution
Of your rival’s reprisals,
projectiles from rifles,
with only a sharp suit and those empty side-smiles.”

“While a useful asset
One I won’t soon forget
I regret my mindset
Will reveal the true threat
you won’t ever sidestep,
with your sub-intellect:
Just keep an eye out for my stationary set.”

“But seriously,
it’s kind of funny to me,
For all your legendary
Dodging of the cemetery
you can’t truly see
What’s so obvious to me:
You amount to nothing more than an assassin’s test dummy.”

[Nazareth]

Raw and rugged, Wazir Kyle is in the building. I especially like the eye/pen pun, nice touch.

You think you’re still up for round 2? It’s all good if you’re not.

[Heisenberg]

Ok, so far @Nazareth has taken the crown each time, but for this one, @Screaming_Meat has the edge. While Faba’s endless rhyme scheme was impressive, and Kale’s seemed more like it really had to reach for it at times, Kale had bars that seemed clearer in where they were going and how they were meant to cut and burn. It was also funnier, taking pokes at Faba that genuinely earned chuckles, and that’s not even counting the pen/eye joke.

All in all, while Faba had a better constructed rap, Kale’s hit harder and got the job done more efficiently. I believe the trope Boring, but Practical may apply here, or perhaps Awesome, but Impractical for Faba’s turn. Kale wins.

[Screaming_Meat]

cheers @Nazareth and @Heisenberg !

yeah, man. let’s do 2

[Nazareth]

Alright, I’ll get to work on it then.