The most first world problem ever, but I am bored as fuck waiting for my house purchase to complete. I sold my apartment of 16 years at the beginning of September without my new house being ready, because I had a really good offer and I didnāt want to lose my buyer.
Iāve had an offer accepted on my dream house since April but my vendors refuse to move out until their onward purchase is sorted, and their purchase is moving at the speed of treacle (probate transaction with lots of legal complications). In the meantime Iāve moved back in with my mum and dad (hence the first world problem, because it would be much worse if I was renting off a third party in the interim) for the first time in 20 years. Itās nice spending more time with them but itās also really fucking weird being a full grown adult living back under your parentsā roof.
Plus I have the complete HITMAN Locations Displate collection sat waiting for a wall to be put up on, and I have a perfect spot for them if and when I get into the new place. I want to move NOW!
So on Thursday morning i noticed two blurry spots in the vision of my left eye. I didnāt thought much about it, maybe my eyes where just tired and moved on. Friday morning the issue was still there, not better, not worse. So my friend recommended me to go to the optician to check this out, because its way faster than to get an appointment at a doctor specialized on eyes.
The woman there inspected my eye couldnāt find anything at first, she then scanned(?) my retina and the first thing she said was āoh my godā. She then told me she isnt allowed to give any diagnosis because she isnt doctor but she told me i needed to go to the eye clinic asap.
One of my friends drove me there and waited for 3 hrs with me until a doctor came to look into my eye. He told me basically that my retina has 2 quite big bruises but he couldnāt tell me what caused this. I didnāt get a punch to the face or had an accident or something alike either.
He told me to stay in the hospital over the weekend so the can do various tests on me on Monday so i declined that and went home with my friend. (the problem with my vision didnt changed at all it just stays the same so far).
Now i have to go to the hospital on monday morning to get all the testing done and the doc told me to prepare to stay there for 5 days.
Iām a little bit scared of going blind and now Iām at home playing video games and cuddle with my cat and try not to think too much about it. I also stay the hell away from googling that shit.
Heres a picture of my blood filled retina (i think it looks somehow beautiful ) and a little meme my friend made out of the picture to cheer me up
EDIT: if anyone of you by any chance is some kind of nurse or doctor or whatever please donāt tell me how bad it is, i just want to enjoy this weekend
I didnāt know that such things can even happen fingers crossed that it is nothing serious and that you can hopefully leave the hospital with good news Will send you strength and good thoughts the next days
I donāt even know what to say. I am honest, I donāt know enough about anything that happens there to have a real opinion on the politics, I am just sad for every innocent person dying. I just hope that you and your beloved ones stay save and I wish you much strength for everything coming
This isnāt normal for just sitting relaxed on the couchā¦
Anyways I was released on my own wish out ouf the hospital on Wednesday because on Thursday i was invited for a ātest working dayā in a new company where i applied for a new job (went very well, got the new job :)) and had to go to the eye specialists and my own doctor to check out the rest.
Tldr: my blood pressure is way too high, i get meds for it now, the spots in my eye are bruises on my retina that should go away on their own, but probably will take a while.
Iāve been in a small friend group for a few years now. I usually end up talking to them in a voice chat at least once every week. Recently a small disagreement between two of my friends ended up exploding. It wasnāt anything really important or major but some small petty disagreement and when thatās happened before there have been no problems, people forgive each other, apologize then moved on. But for some reason this one small issue kept getting dragged on, adding more garbage or disagreements between each other to the point that itās basically just a shouting match and that they donāt want to be friends anymore.
I honestly donāt know how to handle it or what to do. The issue doesnāt involve me so nobody is angry with me but I feel like I have both of them pulling on each of my arms trying to make me pick a side over petty disagreements boiling over. At this point Iām honestly not sure what to do if I should try to mediate and fix the situation. Start ignoring them until they fix or deal with it or something else.
I got into a small car accident on Sunday evening. It was my fault, I managed to scrape a stationary car, knocking off its wing mirror, whilst managing to damage my own car more in the process by damaging my front nearside wheel. Thankfully, the owner of the car I hit wasnāt too bothered and noone was injured, but still, a bit of a shock.
And starting from today, Iām going to start taking anti-depressant medication, Sertraline. One tablet a day for 2 months, then will go back to the Doctor for an update on how Iām doing. Been told it might take a short while until it starts to work properly, I guess we will see. Iāve never taken medication in my entire life, I just hope it can help my mood.
Starting to really become concerned that I may be experiencing General Anxiety Disorder, or just slowly going insane and descending into paranoia as I get older, as Iām finding myself more and more afraid of the future and its promise of inevitable loss, including of life for myself and/or those I care about, seemingly with each passing night.
And before anyone says it, the notion that this is a normal or common issue that happens to a lot of people so I donāt have to feel alone in it brings me no relief whatsoever. That just tells me that A) this is something thatās supposed to happen then, and B) nobodyās figured out how to resolve/fix it, otherwise it wouldnāt be something that so many people experience.
I think it is never ānormalā to be generally very afraid of the future.
After all previous talk I want to cut it short and say it might be really a good idea to try a therapy to increase your life quality. It might be something that you can be improve, other than things that seem set in stone to you.
I am diagnosed wirh a general anxiety disorder and all I can say is that it sucks and nothing helped me except lots of therapy I hate going through my fears and even witnessing panic attacks if it gets very bad, so all I can say is that I can understand what you are feeling and I hope that you can maybe find some help
and I agree with @Urben, all these fears are not normal. I think itās healthy to be worried from time to time, but not when it gets so extreme.
Iāve been ill for more than three weeks now. First the bronchitis, then corona. Iāve been negative again for more than a week, but the symptoms have remained. Hoarseness, cough, runny nose, lack of sense of taste and smell.
My lungs were x-rayed and fortunately pneumonia was ruled out. I still have to see my doctor again tomorrow because my blood values werenāt right and she wants me to discuss that
My head is rattling, Iām overthinking everything and imagining a thousand scenarios. This then ends in panic attacks. What if this infection never goes away? What if Iām still on sick leave? What if itās caused by a more serious illness? Do I have cancer? Am I going to die? The longer Iām at home, the harder it gets. I just want to be healthy again, get back to my everyday life and go to work
Went to my doctor today, and everything is okay. My sinuses are still blocked and inflamed, and my bronchial tubes are also still blocked. But my lungs and blood results are totally fine. What was elevated in the blood test is completely normal for an infection like this and nothing to worry about. The blood test showed that there is no infection or disease spreading throughout my body. Itās all confined to the nose and bronchial tubes.
I also told her what my fears were, but she was able to allay them to some extent. She also said that it is normal, especially with corona, that the symptoms are very persistent and often last for weeks. I just have to be patient, but as long as it doesnāt get worse again, Iām on the road to recovery. Albeit slowly
Thanks again to @Urben and @Heisenberg for the kind words My anxiety often plays tricks on my head and I then get totally carried away. Itās helpful to hear such kind words that bring me back to reality a little
Not entirely a serious issue or one Iām too distressed about, but man, Iāve not entirely done my work for my next doctorās appointment.
She put me on anti anxiety meds since my last appt in October, and Iāve been taking them every day, but she also wanted me to get a blood test to see how things are going.
And I totally forgot.
Iām heading to the bloodwork place now, but my appointment is tomorrow so IDK if sheāll get it by then. Soā¦ I hope the tests come back good at least heh
EDIT: Lmao no one was at the bloodwork clinic so they took me in, I was in and out really easily. 5 mins. Blood flowed fast woohoo
(Itās been a while, but one time they had to poke me 3 times, that was not cool)
I cant believe that after years of waiting, speculating and hoping for a next GTA game the first trailer is finally on the horizon. It feels so surreal to me. This announcement comes in a time where Iām dealing with some bad stuff from my childhood and seeing a therapist for it. Maybe EMDR therapy rings a bell for some of you.
Since my childhood, GTA has been a coping mechanism for all the shit that was going on at the time. When I felt all alone, in the worst time of my life (at 11 years old mind you) GTA III, Vice City, San Andreas and the stories games were by my side, along with the Hitman games. It was a world where I could escape to, do all the stuff you could never get away with IRL and where I could express my frustrations without consequences. Vice City was also the first GTA game I ever played and has been my favorite since. To me Tommy Vercetti was my comfort character and is still my favorite protagonist.
Now that Iām going through a time of mental change and closing a heavy chapter from my earlier life, a new game is on the horizon. Its almost poethic that weāre going back to Vice City, the place where it all began for me. Even if the game is not what I expect it to be, it still feels like Iām rewarded for beating all the shit that was thrown at me and staying strong throughout.
Itās time for a new chapter. And I couldnāt feel more blessed.
I hope therapy goes well for you! You are very strong for making these steps and you can be very proud of yourself
I know sometimes people canāt understand this. For me it was Hitman and Grey especially helping me through hard times, they still do. So I can totally understand how you feel.
I hope the game is worth the wait and that you will have a great time with it, once it comes out
) and a little meme my friend made out of the picture to cheer me up
fingers crossed that it is nothing serious and that you can hopefully leave the hospital with good news 
Will send you strength and good thoughts the next days 
Perhaps you just slept on it weird or something.
I hate going through my fears and even witnessing panic attacks if it gets very bad, so all I can say is that I can understand what you are feeling and I hope that you can maybe find some help 
