Best NPC lines / quotes

Hitman: World of Assassination
166

This is not edited, he just freaked out bc I turned on the sink on

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167

“Yes, I’m having a nervous breakdown so please leave me alone.”

Gardener’s wife/girlfriend when she sees 47 in her home next door to Andrea Martinez’s office.

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168

“Though I walk through the Valley of Shadow and Death, I fear no evil because I am the most badass gunslinger in Death Valley!”

Or something like that. Heard it from a militia dude in Colorado when I was killing everybody.

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169

there are so many but in india when the guards say, “hey sonny” or “hey man don’t ignore me”

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170

“Aye, aye, the tough guys are here!” - Rico’s guards in Santa Fortuna.

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171

“Death? What is death? Death is the necessary companion of life. Without death there can be no life. One generation must make way for the next, and on and on. It’s in the nature of all things. That is why we must learn to appreciate death as the enabler of life, not the discontinuity of life. There is no end, only a series of new beginnings. Therefore, to understand how to live proper and full lives, we must first complete the apprenticeship of death.“ - Oybek Nabazov

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172

“Oh touchy are we? You want to watch your little little bullshit stories? And if you don’t, what are you gonna cry like a little baby? You gonna cry behbehbeh cause you’re a baby. Look at me cry.” - Friedemann Roth making fun of Reiner Von Essen at the Biker Hangout in Berlin

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173

I’m a professional. No need to worry about. Tch tch! I’ve got this. (one of guards when sent to investigate distraction/pick up weapon). What makes it to me is that tch tch, which is really cute detail.

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174

“Screw you man”
“Fck you man"
"Get out of my fcking way”
“Watch where you’re going, you bag of dicks”
“You have a death wish”

~ Sameer Ghazi, Dubai Penthouse Guard

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175

Not an actual quote but something I came up with that would’ve fit well in the Hitman Blood Money mission The Murder of Crows.

Mardi Gras party girl: Officer, I need your help!

New Orleans policeman: What’s the problem, ma’am?

Mardi Gras party girl: There’s some creep in the hotel lobby playing around with the lightswitch!

New Orleans policeman: WHAT?! Who is this guy?

Mardi Gras party girl: He’s dressed in a mascot outfit. You know like the bird guy from that kid’s television program.

New Orleans policeman: Okay stay here, we’ll deal with this troublemaker. There he is, kill him dead!

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176

The couriers’ little song (“I got shit to deliver ta ta ta ta”) makes me laugh every. single. time :smiley:

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177

“Who… WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?!”

Gavin LeBlond and certain Hope Guards after finding a dead body.

That one was so catching that when my church did a murder mystery drama play I actually used that quote.

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178

Reminds me of when I watched a friend play Assassin’s Creed. He climbed atop a high tower where there were two guards and stabbed one of them, then the other guard asked “who’s responsible for this?” as he was walking away like there was anyone else on that tower :smiley:

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179

Patrick_McColloch being a church actor was not on my forum bingo card :thinking:

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180

I’ve realised I haven’t paid much attention to the lines of NPCs being woken up/waking people up, so I thought to have a search for some good ones.

"I think I got hit by… a train… or something? (He was indoors)
“Ugh… unfortunately this happens quite a lot for me. This isn’t the first time I’ve woken up like this, so… maybe I should be afraid.”
“Hey, are you alright? You’ve been attacked by an alien! Nah, I’m just kidding. It was probably just a really violent guy who knocked you out.”

There’s certainly more out there in maps with different voice sets but I think it’ll take some time to search for them.

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181

mine is good news your opponent died that was from ghost mode in hitman 2

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182

those are always hilarious.

haven’t heard this one in a long time, and I almost feel like they took it out…but it made me laugh whenever a guard would wake another guard and ask, “you okay? you look like you just shit yourself” it’s especially funny if you’re hiding in a crate and can only hear it lol

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183

“I would be police, if I didn’t have the world’s biggest asshole take my interview!”
-Alerted guard, backpedaling after announcing himself as police

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184

“We got an intruder: a bald-fucking-headed-caucasian intruder. Find him!”

The ironically bald-headed cashier with the goatee at McGarmond’s Gun Shop gunshop when hunting for 47

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185

“Hmm… Race Marshall, that could be a good job. I mean look at him [47], how hard can it be?”
~Timothy Hobbs, MId 50s - Race Marshall

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